Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Best Way To Break A Shower

I've never been big on celebrating birthdays. For that matter i don't really get excited about any holidays. So when i woke up Monday i didn't feel any different. Yes it was my birthday, and yes it was my 25Th which I'm told is a pretty big deal. It felt like any other day. Woke up and put off getting out of bed as long as possible. So once my bladder wouldn't let me lay there any longer, I got up to use the restroom. Nothing different there, peeing at 25 is just like peeing at 24. No biggy. Then i felt it. THE DIFFERENCE! It started in my legs, a warm fuzzy feeling. I was thinking wow it feels good to be 25. The sensation is moving up my body and I'm thinking this is a great feeling. It moved up my torso then I got this warm feeling in my face and i was excited about the new feeling that comes with being 25.

I woke up to Amanda laughing and knew i was laying down so i figured that i went back to bed and fell asleep again. Then i realized i wasn't in my bed room i was in the bathroom. Not only was i in the bathroom i was laying on the floor. Not curled up, but face to floor very similar to Stu in the hangover. After that sank in i ask Amanda what was going on. In between laughs she told me that i had passed out. Now it was getting interesting. I was too disoriented to get up so i was sideways face to the floor talking to my wife. Then she said something that scared to crap out of me. "You broke the shower".

Normally breaking the shower or anything else is not that big of a deal. The reason it scared me so much was the thought of having to call my land lord. Again not normally a daunting task. My land lord is not what you think. She is not angry or scary(except to Amanda). She is the sweetest old lady you have ever met. The problem is you can't read her at all. She has no facial expression what so ever. Even when we were at her church she came up to Amanda and gave her a hug without so much as a smile. She is ice cold.

After the reality sank in I got worried. How the crap am i going to fix this shower. Having given it some thought i called my father. I proceeded to tell him my dilemma. He was perplexed that i was worried about the shower and not the fact that i just passed out cold. After some question and answer he agreed to come assist in the fixing of the shower. At the end of the day the shower was fixed and you couldn't tell it had ever been broken.

So the moral of this story is if your gonna go, then go all out. A hammer is so predictable. Your fist is too cliche. If your going to break a shower you should pass out cold and fall full forced into it with the type of reckless abandon that can only come from being completely unable to control your body do to lack of consciousness.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Some times I just need a push. . .

Lets be honest. There are at most three people who will read this, and i am completely fine with that. I know i don't really have anything to offer to the general public as far as good writing or useful knowledge. I might occasionally find something humorous or whatever. I have, for no particular reason, been negligent with my blog. I guess you could say that i felt like there wasn't really a point. Nothing to say and no body to read it. Now that has a changed.

It was a Thursday night. My wife and i had just finished dinner with some friends. We were making our way out the car via a slow walk with lots of talk. We weren't talking about anything specific and i brought up a mutual acquaintance's blog. I just asked if it was being updated and if there was anything good on it. My question was answered. Nothing out of the ordinary, yes he still writes, blah blah. What followed the answer was what caught me off guard. I was imediatly attacked with what i can only parallel with the firing of a verbal BAZOOKA. She comes at me with "What about Random Goat?" then the second barrage comes from him "Yeah i subscribe but i don't ever see any updates!"

Now every one who reads this should know that these friends that i speak of are really more than friends. They are what i would consider best friends. They may not realize how much they have enriched the lives of me and my wife. Their opinion matters. Thier support of my ideas matter. Their genuine intrest in my life matters. Most of all it is the trust that i have in them, that our friendship goes way beyond the surface, that matters.

It didn't really occur to me until i got home just how much i needed that push/verbal abuse. I had been going back and forth in my head about trying to blog more, or not. When i got home i realized that my friends didn't care if i was dropping life changing nuggets. My friends don't care if i have anything important to say. My friends just want to hear what i have to say regardless of content. When i realized that, i realized that those friend are true friends. Because of them i have decided to give this thing another try.

Also to the two that pushed me i say thank you.You two realy mean more to me and my wife than you will ever know.

Monday, April 27, 2009

An Epidemic..I Think

It has been well documented in history that certain situations lend themselves to certain results. If you don't eat you get hungry. If you don't water the plants they wither away into oblivion. If you don't vacuum, the floor gets dirty. All these thing are logical and proven over time. It is very shocking to me that there is a situation which would seem to have any easy fix, yet it silently claims victims all the time(supposedly). You won't hear about his on the news or read about it in the paper but it is here in America. It hits home in Tennessee. It rears it's ugly head in Cleveland, on the campus of Lee University.

I had no idea how i would be changed by one simple trip to the Lee library with my wife. She needed to get together with her group to put the finishing touches on their project and i didn't want to her to have to drive to Cleveland because she wasn't feeling well. Had she not been under the weather i might never have found out about this horrible problem.

We were all around the table, each person working on their own little piece to the project puzzle, when someones computer gave that all too familiar message. LOW BATTERY! This did not alarm us because it happens all the time. People have to charge everything from phones to electric razors. What did we do? We did what every other warm blooded human would have done. We moved closer to an outlet and plugged it in. Not thinking anything of it, we continued on as we were had all been doing before.

Do you every get the feeling that someone is watching you? I did that night. Everyone was working quietly in library when i saw her out of the corner of my eye. She looked worried and bothered. The library worker moved in our direction with a since of urgency that can only be likened to that of someone who is about to go number two, but can't get their belt undone. Upon arrival to our table she informed us that she would have to put a stool over the cord to our companions laptop. We really thought nothing of it until she dropped a bomb on our reality.

With a look of fear in her eyes she told us that the reason it should be covered was to prevent tripping. That made sense. It didn't stop there. She then informed us that "you just wouldn't believe how many people on Lee's campus trip and BREAK BOTH OF THEIR ARMS!".

Immediately my head was spinning. Who would have known. Statistically the majority of double arm breaks happen in auto mobile accidents, but for some reason the librarian feels that Lee has an abnormal amount of double breaks due to tripping.
So i plead with everyone out there, and Lee students most of all, to watch your step. Roll your feet or high step. Please don't drag your toes or just walk willy nilly without looking were your are going because it could happen to you.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

A Day InThe Park

I know everybody got worried because you thought i was going to write about me skipping in a field and picking flowers. WRONG! When a male has the privilege of carrying the last name Fowler, more often then not he is a Sasquatch who like to destroy things. This particular day we were destroying little paper targets. They had done nothing wrong but none the less they became the confetti for redneck ruckus.

Most conversations i have with my father have very little to do with anything. They consist of mostly small talk about church or people we have come in contact with in random places. Saturday morning when i answered the phone you can imagine my surprise when the conversation involved firearms. Not only was he going to shoot guns, but so was our family friend Clayton, and most importantly, my brother Eli (see number 12 in previous post)!

Eli was going to site in a new scope he put on one of his high powered thunder sticks, so naturally we would use that as an excuse to waste ammo while simultaneously solidifying our manhood. What could be more manly than shooting a gun? Eli also was the guide for our expedition, because none of us had any idea were this shooting range was.He failed to mention that it actual took an hour to get there and required two to four miles on a pothole filled gravel path that could be considered a road in Alabama (maybe).

When our foursome finally beheld the range upon which we would be reeking our havoc, we found that ,even in the middle of nowhere, we were not alone. There were two other categories of shooter sharing the range with us. The first was a family of four who were out teaching their eldest how to use his new pellet rifle. This is the learning category. When he and his youngest brother saw our arsenal they were awestruck at the size of our weapons. Once we started shooting they realized that the bigger the toys the louder the noise, and subsequently stopped liking our guns. The second was a man that really had no reason to be there other than "shootin stuff". This is the "bubba" category. The way he passed most of his time was offloading round after round from his shotgun ,at no particular target, and making loads of noise.

Our mission was accomplished. By the time we left, Eli's assault rifle was a well honed devastation maker, and we had emptied clip after clip from rifle and handgun alike. We were not always orthodox in our methods, but we all had a blast.

Rest assured that our day on the range would not be considered "normal" by most. The only thing you should know is that for the Fowler Family it was just another day in the park.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Relavent Facts!

Hey this is the first blog so it's only fair that before we enter into a relationship you know a little about me:

1. The only thing Wal-mart is good for is . . . WATCHING PEOPLE

2. I am extremely competitive in everything. Board games, card games, any sport(even the ones i am not good at), video games, eating, sleeping, not eating, and whatever else your imagination can come up with. You name it and i will challenge you to the death.

3. To this day i can not figure out the source of that smell in my car when it rains.

4.The south is were it is at, geographically speaking. I do however struggle with the southern state of mind. If you don't know what I'm talking about then it doesn't matter.

5.My favorite Girl Scout cookie is THIN MINT.

6.I believe in my previous life i was a rap artist. I probably was a little bit gangsta but kept it real. That may seem weird or far fetched but it could have happened so i won't rule it out.

7. I love to sleep in........ALOT!

8.I believe that there are certain people put on this earth specifically for my amusement. If you know who you are, don't be offended. If you don't know who you are then ignorance is bliss.

9.My guilty pleasure is pop music. I know. I hate it too but that is the way it is and i can't change that. I do however maintain a healthy balance of music variety in my day to day listening.

10. Flip Flops are the way to go. All day long,all year round, unless your work requires close toed shoes.

11.Scary Movies do indeed SCARE me. I have an over active imagination that will convince me someone is in my closet or under the couch, and as a result i won't sleep for a couple of days.

12. In case of emergency find my brother. He has many guns and is well equipped to use them in case of zombie attack or whatever.